3 tips to avoid the marriage rut

3 tips to avoid a rut in your marriage

First let me say, If you and your spouse have never been in a rut….count your lucky stars.  Second,  if you and your spouse are or have been in a rut just know that it’s normal!

Seriously..…Ruts stink!  Going through a personal rut can be bad enough…but hitting a rut in your marriage can feel like your trying to run a 5k in quicksand.

Even though ruts are completely normal, they can be so hard to deal with and they can really take a toll on you and your marriage, but marriage is worth the work!

While it still can be hard, there are a few things that can help you avoid the pitfalls of hitting those plateaus.


Here are 3 tips to aviod the marriage rut:


  • Speak each other's Love Language
    • If you don’t already know what your love language is, I highly recommend taking this online quiz.  This can be a game changer in your marriage.  Everyone gives and receives love in different ways and once you know how you and your spouse like to give and receive love, you can start speaking each other's love language.  Most the time, your love languages will be different.  Mine and my husband’s love language are complete opposites!  This can create a struggle if we don’t constantly keep in mind to speak each other's love language.  But, when we keep it in mind, it makes things much better!!!


  • Constant communication
    • …...To each other, not other people.  Yes, it can get uncomfortable but it’s essential!  Keeping communication open will help you work through the big and little things.  It's important for each person to feel heard.  Really listen to your spouse, try to see their side of things and whatever you do, don't jump into defensive mode.  When you can both talk through situations it not only makes you both feel better, but it also saves you both a lot of headaches & heartaches.


  • Put each other first
    • 2-way street here…. Put each other first.  This can sometimes be the hardest thing to do.  At times it requires you putting your wants to the side for your spouse.  Now, before you go thinking "no way...I'm not doing that all the time, that doesn't seem fair." like I said…… it’s a 2-way street.  You both must be willing to put the other first.  When only one doing this it will lead to a lot of resentment.


Ruts are never fun, especially in your marriage.  But, if you keep these 3 things in mind and practice them daily, you will likely avoid ruts or be able to get out of them quicker.

Love is a choice that you must make every single day.  Marriage is work, but it's worth it!